Why do some people abuse the person/people they are supposed to love?

We live in a society where there are few consequences for abuse [especially female abuse].  So some people think they have the right to do it.  They feel benefit from abusive behaviour and want their partner to remain dependant on them.  Others blame it on society and the media.  They feel influenced by the violence they see and hear about.  This is NO excuse they do it because they CAN and they can get away with it.  Some abusers really don’t want to be violent but there is not much help available for them to find ways to calm them down and control their tempers. 

There are a tiny number of people who claim to be ‘cured’ of violent behaviour, by a perpetrator scheme (self help group) that has just started. Hopefully more people will seek help and if they realise they have got a problem, the scheme might work for them.  Others have got mental health problems and with help from doctors/psychiatrists and medication could stop being so violent.

Domestic Violence is often seen as a loss of control.  But really it’s usually very controlled.  The time, the place, who is hit and where on the body.  It is a chosen behaviour because it works as power and control over the domestically violated person.  Violence doesn’t necessarily breed violence.  It has been found that a perpetrator of Domestic Violence is seven times more likely to have come from a non-violent home.

 

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